The Primary Republican Problem

You know, it's so cute to watch the Republicans try and spin the Democratic primary as "ensuring a Republican gets elected."  But, the state of Florida has a million Republicans desperately trying to figure out what to do next.  Who would have guessed they'd have such trouble?

They have two main problems:
- They know they'll lose in the fall, and they can't decide which Democrat they want to beat them
- They know they'll lose in the fall, and they can't decide which Republican they want to get beat

First, let's focus on the Democrats.  See, they hate Hillary Clinton *so much*, for no particular reason.  If you've talked to one of the rabid Hillary-haters in private, they literally seem dillusional.  I had several conversations where one Limbaugh-natic seriously told me she believed that Hillary would kill her if she was elected.  And she was serious.

So, their hatred for Hillary compels them to want Obama to win, right?

Wrong.  See, they know what I know.  And what Iowa knows,  And South Carolina.  Barack Obama will be a transformational President, creating an entire generation of new liberals.  He'll do for liberalism what Ronal Reagan did for conservatism.  It'll send conservatives out to the woodshed for a couple decades.

So then, they are back to Hillary.  But, they know, despite her divisive politics, this is likely the year she could win.  And we would have our first Madame President.  

And their Republican skin starts to itch.

That is the first part of their dilemma.  Do they hate Hillary Clinton enough to throw their entire conservative movement on a sword for twenty years?

We don't know yet.



But they're just as torn about who to nominate.

They went through some interesting phases.  The 9ui11ani phase.  The McCain phase.  The Romney phase.  The Thompson phase.  The Huckabee phase.  We went through another McCain phase.  Now, all of those conservative talk radio hosts who quietly bashed Romney for his religion now see themselves trying to un-hatrify their audience.  (Good luck)

See, Republicans know in their head that John McCain is the only one with a chance to win.  (Let's all take a moment to chuckle at the "Fred Heads")  He's the only one.

But, he's "John McKennedy", or a "RINO"...otherwise known as a decent, sincere, open, principled politician.  No wonder the Limbaugh-natics hate him so much.

They had an affair with Huckabee for a little while.  He was all religious.  He hated the gays.  He would be mean to single moms.  Or so they thought.  Then, Huckabee made the cardinal sin of acting like immigrants are the children of god, and talking about Christian values that *aren't* all about discrimination.  A Christian leader that talks about poverty?  Not in the Republican party!

So now, they're back where they started.  Mitt-Flopping Romney.  Who was for abortion, before he was against it.  He was for amnesty, before he was against it.  He was against guns, before he was for them.  He was against the surge, before he was against it, before he was against it.  He didn't raise taxes, but his citizens paid a billion dollars more to the government.

Yes, Republicans have quite the issue.

Basically, they're screwed every way to Sunday.

Enjoy Florida's primary!!!